FROM THE DESK OF JOWLENE LARDMORE, SENIOR EDITOR The Daily Oink
At a recent community tailgating event, a group of citizens of Styville were enjoying playing catch with a football.
Several Founding Members of Styville, and even one or two members of the Styville Council were disturbed and horrified at members of the porcine community playing with a purported “pigskin“.
Please be comforted and assured that this is no longer the case. We have Major Lee Suspicious to thank that current footballs are made of either cowhide or synthetic material. As the Porcine community, we have advocated for synthetic material, as you can imagine.
Do not be dismayed by this sport, as the ball itself has been humanely reworked into something more benevolent for us all.
As told to JBL by Jowlene Lardmore.